Today I...

Today I...

• Washed my car.
• Resisted eating a cupcake.
• Bought an stationary exercise bike.
• Found 4 people for a hard to fill position I have open at work.
• Worked out for 2 hours! Burned 237 calories on the elliptical!
• Ran 2 miles on the elliptical.
• Did 100 crunches.
• Walked my dog's a mile.
• Kept positive.
• Drank 48 ounzes of water.
• Ate just salad for lunch.
• Ate Breakfast! *a big deal for me!*
• Went over to my sisters house and played with both of my nephews.

Not bad for a Thursday. I feel so accomplished!

Tomorrow I want to...

• Clean my kitchen/dog's area/bedroom/living room
• Put together my ab roller
• Do 2 hours on my new bike
• Figure out how to get my bike to work....
• Cook something new
• Find low-sodium balsamic vinageratte and low sodium canned soup.

:) Have a GREAT FRIDAY!!!!! :)

I'm growing.

I'm starting to see that the body that I abused with overeating, and over processed, greasy buttery food, that I didn't excercise is a lovely, functioning machine that hasn't ever failed me. Do I have a big butt? Yes, but I love it, for where it's taken me.

I'm starting to see that I'm not unloveable. That I have people in my life that would be upset if I left this world.  Since high school I've always felt like I wasn't enough. That no one thought that I was worthy. I always imagined that if I were to die, that no one would show up to my funeral, that no one would shed a tear.  I see how dramatic, and ridiculous that is now. 

I'm starting to see myself as a strong independent woman - when before If someone asked me what words least described me, I might say those exact same words. I've made it on my own...for 4 years this month.  For 4 years, I've managed to pay all of my bills, not kill 2 animals, and remembered to buy things like toilet paper and dog food.  I've moved up in a career that I knew nothing about, and managed to be one of the top paid staffing specialist in my company. I don't take peoples crap anymore, and I don't let people walk all over me.

I'm growing...but I'm not "grown".  Still have a lot more work ahead of me, but I've only been alive a quarter of my life.