Every Pot has a Lid

I've always loved that saying. It promises hope to those that have had bad luck in finding the perfect person.

My love life up until now has felt more like the Tupperware Terror! muah ha ha.  You know...when you put your leftovers into a Tupperware container, and then proceed to try and make 58 lids fit on the top to no avail.  They look like they fit...but gosh darnit if they are not just a little too small or too wide.  That's what my past relationships felt like to me.  Like they should have every chance of working - but something was just skewed a little.

But I think now I've found my lid. He's amazing. He's religious, but curses a little - just like me. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and has a hard time keeping the things he feels concealed inside of his head, he just has to say them -just like me. He wants children. He's artistic. He tells me I'm beautiful just enough that I know he's being honest. He opens the car doors. He cares what my family and friends think about him. He's affectionate. He's a great kisser. He loves animals. He's goregous. The word marriage does not send him running. He's passionate about things. He's motivated and wants to make a better life for himself and his daughter. He comforts me when I have my freak outs from the past - and even better he understands them. He is smart. He has great friends. He has a great family. He has a great daughter.

He is my lid.

Changes

Today I got a stats email from blogger - it said that I had 47 hits on my blog this week! What? Who are you 47 people? Or maybe it was 1 person, 47 times, lol.  Anyways, this turned into a domino effect. It made me go look at my blog, and read some past posts...and oh how things have changed! Ofcourse I will give you these changes in list fashion:

• I've moved! Back to FLORIDA! I can't believe I was finally able to make it back...I've been trying for over a year now! I moved in my new house on June 15th! I'm happier here...maybe it's the sunshine, maybe it's the fact that I have friends here, or that my parents are now 1 hour away, but I am HAPPY.  My company had a job opening in Longwood and I jumped at it. It actually came with a raise and relocation monies! I do miss my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews. :(.
• I moved in with my 2 best friends Ashley, and Karla! This has been an adjustment! You get kind of stuck in your ways when you've lived solo for 4 years! But for the most part we have a LOT of fun!
• I've lost 55 lbs! I'm feeling so much better! No more acid reflux, no more knee pain, no more gasping for air when walking up a flight of stairs. No more barely fitting in a size 20 pant!
• I lost my dearest little weiner. :( Hoss passed away the day after we moved into our new house. Super sad. But he lived a very good and long life!
• I have stopped dating! Because......I have a boyfriend :) :) :) OkCupid finally worked for me! He is amazing, and treats me like no one has ever treated me in my entire life. And is completly normal unlike my past online dating crazies. He has completly swept me off my feet. His name is Jaime :). Can you tell he makes me :)! Now I just need to change my little picture over there on the right that says, hi my name is Brittany, I diet. I date. and I don't like either. 

What should it say now??? Any suggestions 47 new blog viewers?? :)

Tuesday Words to live by

I found this in my "For Today" that I had bought when I was in Overeaters Anonymous...

The greatest hapiness you can have is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness. - William Saroyan

Dissatisfaction was one of the hallmarks of my compulsive illness.  Few things measured up to my expectations, so I found a way to make it up to myself.  I used food to give me the illusion of happiness.

What freedom there is in giving up the chase! -- to go somewhere, do something without demanding that I be happy.  Paradoxically, it is when I go my way with an open mind, free of expectations, that I most often find my heart singing.

For Today: What do I need, if not happiness? I need the willingness to take what comes, to get out of my own way, to let go of the idea that I should feel good all the time.

This has been a reoccuring thing for me this week. Earlier this week a friend of mine put a picture on his facebook that said " What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it was supposed to be."

Also, on my Mary Engelbreit desk calander one of my favorite pieces came up..if you can't make out the words on the sign below, it reads one way "Your Life" and the way the girl isn't going "No Longer an option"

I think when the same things keep popping up in front of you like that, God is trying to get some message across, and I hear it!!! That is a 10-4 God!

Today I...

Today I...

• Washed my car.
• Resisted eating a cupcake.
• Bought an stationary exercise bike.
• Found 4 people for a hard to fill position I have open at work.
• Worked out for 2 hours! Burned 237 calories on the elliptical!
• Ran 2 miles on the elliptical.
• Did 100 crunches.
• Walked my dog's a mile.
• Kept positive.
• Drank 48 ounzes of water.
• Ate just salad for lunch.
• Ate Breakfast! *a big deal for me!*
• Went over to my sisters house and played with both of my nephews.

Not bad for a Thursday. I feel so accomplished!

Tomorrow I want to...

• Clean my kitchen/dog's area/bedroom/living room
• Put together my ab roller
• Do 2 hours on my new bike
• Figure out how to get my bike to work....
• Cook something new
• Find low-sodium balsamic vinageratte and low sodium canned soup.

:) Have a GREAT FRIDAY!!!!! :)

I'm growing.

I'm starting to see that the body that I abused with overeating, and over processed, greasy buttery food, that I didn't excercise is a lovely, functioning machine that hasn't ever failed me. Do I have a big butt? Yes, but I love it, for where it's taken me.

I'm starting to see that I'm not unloveable. That I have people in my life that would be upset if I left this world.  Since high school I've always felt like I wasn't enough. That no one thought that I was worthy. I always imagined that if I were to die, that no one would show up to my funeral, that no one would shed a tear.  I see how dramatic, and ridiculous that is now. 

I'm starting to see myself as a strong independent woman - when before If someone asked me what words least described me, I might say those exact same words. I've made it on my own...for 4 years this month.  For 4 years, I've managed to pay all of my bills, not kill 2 animals, and remembered to buy things like toilet paper and dog food.  I've moved up in a career that I knew nothing about, and managed to be one of the top paid staffing specialist in my company. I don't take peoples crap anymore, and I don't let people walk all over me.

I'm growing...but I'm not "grown".  Still have a lot more work ahead of me, but I've only been alive a quarter of my life.