Come to my window

"I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give
Or how much I can take
Just to reach you"

-Melissa Etheridge "Come To My Window"

It's been almost 4 years since he was mine, and I still have to fight off the urges to pick up my phone and call him. It's hard. When I have good news, I want to call him. When I'm having a bad day, I want to call him. And more than anything when I think of a shared memory I want to call him....

But it's almost like he's a drug. Something that would be gratifying in that instant, but then cause turmoil the next minute, and even more heartache the next day. Not to quote another song, but it's kind of like "make it hurt so good". I have to resist if I don't want to be disappointed and heartbroken the second I click the END button.

Sometimes Love don't feel like it should.....make it hurt so good.