Frustration Level= 100

and that's on a scale of 1-10.

Please advert your eyes, if you choose not to read this mean spirited nasty blog post. But this is how I really feel, and want to say to him, but don't think it would be very christian.

Found J's profile on a dating site...TOTAL BS. I think instead of what he wrote, he should write a little more honestly...atleast warn the poor little sheep about to be fooled by the wolf...

Hi my name is J, but you'll probably end up calling me Jackass. I'm 6'0 have blonde hair(what is left that is) and blue eyes, and think that I am God's gift to women. I live in SC with my mother, stepfather, and grandmother, even though I'm 30 years old. I have -$630 in my banking account and am looking for someone who can take me out to dinner and show me a good time. If you have your own place, a tv, and a fridge filled with food, that is a plus. I am looking to get married soon, so that I'm a legally binded to you and you are legally obligated to give me half of what is yours. I am also a felon, with an open warrant in OH for animal abuse. I am a recovering addict, so I have lots of fun drug stories to tell you. Don't I sound PERFECT??

last ditch effort

Me: Hey boo you ok?
J: Ok why
Me: Just haven't heard from you in awhile, and was worried about you.
J: Busy
Me: I guess you are done with me then.
J: Brittany Im driving give me a break.
Me:I just miss you. I need you in my life, even just as a friend.
J: Chill for a min. I'm at the doctor. Ok.
Me: OK.

Fast forward to 11:00 last night...

Me: Not that you care...But I am DONE. I can't handle this anymore.


STUPID...in refrence to myself...why do I do this?? I continue to chase people that do not have the slightest interest in me.

Rocky Rockclimber

So it's very safe to say that Mr. Rockclimber will not be my future Mr.

We met at a local sandwich shop, and as soon as I walked in and we said hello he says to me...

R:Have you dyed your hair recently?

Me: Uhhhh...No.

R: Your hair color in your profile picture was blonde.

Me: (At this point I think I might have been loosing my mind, and maybe really was a blonde) I don't think so, I've never been a blonde before.

R: Oh...huh.

And it only got worse after that if you can believe it. During the 35 minutes I spent with him he let me know that he hates his mother and father, he still thinks he's in love with the mother of his child who is currently in a mental institute, and he is infertile (even though he put on his profile that he is looking for someone to have kids with). Way too much information for the first time meeting someone.

Then for the icing on top of the cake...at the end of the date, the bill comes...after patting down his pants and tshirt (where would a wallet be in your t-shirt MO-RON??) he says I must have lost my wallet, you mind getting this one, and I'll pay for the next date?

I kid you not. I wish this was NOT a true story.

I remember you when...

For every person, no matter how signifigant or insignifigant they were in your life, there are some things that will always remind you of that person. These are my remember whens...

I remember you when...I see butterflies and rocking chairs.
I remember you when...I see any movie with Ben Stiller, you look just like him.
I remember you when...I flip by the "One Saturday Morning" on ABC.
I remember you when...I pass by the Simply Shabby Chique aisle in Target.
I remember you when...I look at my precious little dog Rory.
I remember you when...I look in the mirror, and see you looking back at me.
I remember you when...I watch Fievel goes west.
I remember you when...I see anyone in uniform, and more than I'd like.
I remember you when...I watch football, or want coffee, or hear an Eminem song.
I remember you when...Anyone asks me if I'm from up north because they pick up a hint of an accent.
I remember you when...I eat orange tic tacs.
I remember you when..I watch Friends.
I remember you...always.

Birthday Boy!

I celebrated my nephew's 3rd birthday this weekend! Here is my favorite picture from the weekend, of him and my sister's dog Annie. Aren't they adorable???

In other news...this might be too much information to put out on the bloggy world...but they say a person is only as sick as their secrets! I started on Zoloft last week for depression, and the doctor said that it would take a little while to see any change. Well the first week, it did nothing but make me nauseous and restless at night. But today was the first day that I could tell a change. I was able to stay focused on all my tasks at work today, and didn't feel down in the dumps. I felt motivated to clean my apartment, take the dogs on a long walk, and go to OA. No lounging and looking at facebook for hours. It felt good! The doctor said it will take about a month to fully see how the medication will work, so I'm very excited to see how it goes!

D is for Dating

and Death.

and Dieting.

and Devil.



Why does everything bad have to start with "D". Ok..that's not a fair statement...lots of good things start with "D" as well. Dad. Deetz. Dogs. :)



But anywho...I have a lunch date set for next week with Mr. Rockclimber. I decided sandwiches is much safer than his first date choice of rock climbing (which I ended up not going on). I really do not enjoy eating on a date though, due to the fact that I don't have just butterflies in my stomach on first dates...but what seems to be large birds. We'll see how it goes though!

J texted me last night for the first time in hmmm...3 weeks...and not that I should have been surprised by this, but all he wanted to do was talk about his favorite subject...himself. He droned on and on about how much he dislikes someone at work, because he disrespects him, and how no one appreciates him there. No "how are you doing", no "I miss you". Nothing. My head says "RUN, you are lucky you got away", my heart says "I'm lonely, and he's cute". Oh little heart...haven't you learned??

On another note...I'm excited about my little man's 3rd birthday on Sunday!!!! :) My parents will be down as well. I cleaned my entire apartment last night thinking they would be here today, but then I got an email from my Dad at 7:30 this morning (thought they were on a plane) and checked Mom's itinerary that she sent, and I could have procrastinated for another day!! LOL.

Cheater

I cheated. BIG TIME. Here is a diary of all the bad crap I ate:

Thursday (It was my 3 year anniversary at work and they got Olive Garden):
I ate CHICKEN PARMIGAN and DR PEPPER

Friday:
Went to Fuji with Sarah, Chad, and Nephew
I ate HIBACHI CHICKEN with RICE and WHITE SAUCE

Saturday:
Went to the Zoo with Sarah, Chad and Nephew
I ate CHIC-FIL-A CHICKEN MINI BISCUITS, HASHBROWNS
HOT DOG and FRENCH FRIES, DT. DR. PEPPER
BAG OF BAKED POTATO CHIPS

Sunday:
Nephew and Nene day!
BURGER KING BREAKFAST BOWL, DIET COKE
half of nephews uneaten HASHBROWNS
FRIED!!! CHICKEN, FRENCH FRIES, DIET COKE!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! But I'm back on the "wagon" this morning! Ate 100 calorie yogurt, and a bowl of cereal with some water. And going back to OA tonight.

Things that are making me scream...

Seriously craving some red velvet cupcakes right now...or any cupcake or cake for that matter. What is it with eating healthy that offers little to no sweet treats that are good for you? WW snacks? They are the size of my big thumb nail, and provide NO satisfication. The best thing I've found so far is jello 100 calorie choc. pudding. Good - but once again so small I feel the urge to eat the whole 6 pack! :)

Also on another note among the fact that I cannot consume cupcakes, I am fuming about a couple of other things:

• IPad 2! Really Apple?? I've lusted after the Ipad for a year, and finally broke down and got one with my tax return, and what do you do?? Put out one that's even better 20 days later, that costs the exact same price, and lower the price of the one that I just purchased.
• Maybelline Perfect Match concealer with roller! I just bought one for ?!12?! dollars, and it's total crap-o-la! It leaves lines, and makes your face look anything but smooth!
• Account Rep at work that makes more money than me, doesn't get any new business, and sits in his office all day!
• I didn't lose any lbs. this week, and I was so good!

Maybe it's the lack of cupcakes and soda that is making me irritable?? :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO POPPY!!!

To the greatest man I know! I love you and miss you Poppy!! :)

These are a few of my Favorite Things..

Cue Sound of Music soundtrack....These are a few of my favorite things...

1. My sister and my new little Russian lovey/nephew Charlie

2, The movie Super Troopers. No matter how unhappy I'm feeling, this movie always lifts my spirits!

3. PICKLES!!!

4. Crocs (even though my sister says that they make me look like a lesbo!)

5. POTATOES!!!! :) Even though I haven't been showing them they love they deserve lately due to dieting.

6. Springtime ( It's the best and most beautiful time of the year)

7. Eminem music (and bad boys)

8. Money in the bank

9. The parentals :)

10. Pics of birds, fake birds, but NEVER REAL birds!

Overeaters Anonymous

So inspired by the show Mike and Molly, and also a friend of mine, I found a OA meeting online in Spartanburg, and went to it (with said friend) this evening. And let me tell you...I LOVED it! This might just be the thing that makes this time different for me, and helps me keep off the weight for good! It's just nice to have people around you that are struggling with the same problems that you are, and some have come out of the struggling.

I will definetly be going back next Monday.

If you are interested, or would like to find a meeting to attend you can check them out at www.oa.org

Heart 0 : Body 1

So this weekend, even though my heart didn't stay physically fit :(,

my body still did :)

Even though my little bitty heart got dropped yet again, I stuck to my diet!

Confession:

It didn't hurt that I also had the stomach flu AGAIN this weekend, LOL.

But an achievement is an achievment none the less.

My goals for the week:

No soda, no fast food, eat breakfast, and work out atleast 3 times.

Also LOSE 5 more pounds! :)

Goal!!!

First of 10 goals!!! I have lost 10 pounds this week!!!

Only 9 more of those to go!

Woo Hoo!!

I won't be posting another pic until I lose 20 :)

Addicted

So, if you know me, you know that I am the poster girl for Yo-Yo dieting. Last year when I was going to get married (never happen, but that's a different blog ;) ) I got all the way down to 140 lbs. and was in a size 6 wedding dress! Which was very exciting for me, since I'd never had clothes that were in the single digits before. I did this by working out with a personal trainer 3 days a week, and doing cardio for the other 2 days. I was also doing the Weight Watchers program on my own. And then....I gained it alllllll back, plus some. So I was thinking..what will make this time different for me?

This time I have to have a different mindset to survive. I am going to treat my eating like an addiction. When you are a drug addict trying to leave a sober life, you must "stay clean" no matter what. Never pick up, no matter what. You do this because you know that the drugs will take you over, and impact your life in negative ways. I am taking this approach with eating. Soda, the Big Mac meal at McDonalds, Potato chips have to be all equal to drugs in my mind. I can not pick them up, no matter what. I must stay clean because my body, my confidence will all be negatively impacted.

This time will be different, I know it. This time, I'll be bulletproof.

Really??

Every month my apartment complex puts out a newsletter with important information and important dates, but it also has a movie previews section that tells you what will be out in theaters this month. I almost fell out when I read this synopsis, so I thought I would share it with you...

BEAVER
Plagued by his own demons, Walter Black (Mel Gibson) was once a successful toy executive and family man who now suffers form depression. No matter what he tries, Walter can't seem to get himself back on track...until a beaver (this is the point where I starting giggling) hand puppet (now I started laughing out loud) enters his life. Jodie Foster also stars.

***********************************************************************

Beaver hand puppet??? Really?!?

The worst part is I kinda want to see it. I mean if the synopsis is any indication of how BAD this movie will be, I just have to see it.

:)Brittany:)